2011년 3월 22일 화요일

TIME Person of the Year - 2nd draft


“Jiyeon, why not start Facebook?”
“Ah, too bothersome. I’m too lazy to login to that thing every day and update it.”
“It’s fun you know. You need some contact with people.”
“I always see my friends in the dorm. Why do I have to do that thing?”
“Well, it is your choice.”
Last December I no longer could ignore the trend. I became one of the many supporters of Mark Zuckerberg. At first, I thought it was pretty reasonable for TIME Magazine to select Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, as “the Person of the Year”.
Started from 1927, annually TIME has been choosing the most influential figure in the world. In 2010, Mark Zuckerberg got the honorable chance to show his face on the cover of the magazine. Some people, however, seem to disagree with this choice. Rob Enderle, for example, an analyst at Enderle Group, said he was surprised to see the name Zuckerberg instead of Assange. “I actually thought Julian Assange had a bigger impact this year because he moved governments,” Enderle said. “It made me feel like they were pressured to take the less controversial person. Facebook is very powerful but it isn’t yet a force for anything. Twitter is actually stronger when it comes to world-changing events. But Zuckerberg would have been my second choice.”
We, people living in the 21st century, are exploring this new method of making relationships. Technological advancement has allowed people to make broader connections around the globe; the relationship is no more only restricted to one’s closest friends. Even without knowing each other’s face people chitchat through the Internet. Today more than 600 million people are using Facebook. Every day, a billion new posts, including photos and video clips, are created. Mark Zuckerberg indeed affected a lot of people around the world; he has changed the way of communication. He was influential to get the title “Man of the Year”. However, was he ENOUGH to deserve the title?


Another candidate for the title was Julian Assange as Enderle mentioned. Assange is the founder of WikiLeaks, which is an international nonprofit organization that reveals secret and information. The “right to know” and the “freedom of the press” are well conducted by this website. WikiLeaks had revealed the secrets of the Afghanistan War, the Iraq War, the conflict between North and South Korea, and other top ranked issues. Without the effort of this website, people would have never known what was really going on throughout the world. The US government argued that some of the information threatened national security, so they arrested Assange.
People, however, are no longer numb or ignorant; they are able to see the truth hidden inside the lies. They used to think that there should be the so-called “state secret” or the “military secret” for national security. When they faced the truth, majority were shocked by what the governments had done. Almost everybody had been living inside a made up world created by government and their employees. What WikiLeaks and Assange achieved was a shift of entire paradigm.
Mark Zuckerberg influenced 600 million people’s lives. Out of that 600 million, active Facebook users were only 15 million. Those 15 million users were only focused on certain groups, mostly from the US and Europe. People from Middle Asia, China, and Africa did not have much access to Facebook.
There is a two cut cartoon with Julian Assange saying, “I give private information on corporation to you for free, and I’m a villain.” Mark Zuckerberg says, “I give your information to corporations for money, and I’m Man of the Year.” While Zuckerberg introduced a different communication method, Assange introduced new topics to communicate about.
Between these two, who should be the person of the year? One who created a new method of communication for only certain group of people? Who also used the personal information for his own benefit? Or one who created a new paradigm shift by giving out undisclosed information?


“These days I’m really into Facebook.”
“I told you. I knew you would like it.”
“Well, I’m not sure if I like it or not. I just feel like I’m forced to use Facebook. It is not a pleasant feeling.”
“You are weird, Jiyeon.”

댓글 2개:

  1. Good clean-up, though there weren't many mistakes to begin with. You include at least one nice quote, but one more would be nicer. Has the argument on your essay changed? You actually don't take a strong position and kind of leave things open ended - just posing the question. This is SAT suicide : ) Always have a position and make it clear.

    I like that you include a video, but I think it's better to have your audience do a bit of reading before they watch a video. Don't be afraid to integrate or comment on any pictures or videos you include.

    All in all, excellent second draft.

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  2. Well I guess I misunderstood your comment on my first draft=( I thought you were saying it was okay to go with the open ended way. Would you mind to read another essay with "strong" argumentative voice for Julian Assange, if I write one? I'm not sure how long it would take but I do want to make a chance to write a proper argumentative essay.

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